Do you get bogged down as the day goes on? Understanding why can be the first step to feeling less overwhelmed.
By Tchiki Davis, Ph.D.
Have you ever had one of those days where you just can’t seem to make your mind do what you need it to do? Maybe you just can’t focus on what’s in front of you. Maybe your thoughts keep drifting back to worries over and over again. Or, maybe your mind wanders off into space—you’re zoned out. Regardless of what exactly is going on, you’re overwhelmed. Your productivity and well-being will pay the price.
If you feel overwhelmed, one of the first and best things you can do is get a better understanding of why. That way you can start to take actions that help you feel better. So what leads to overwhelm?
Well, there are lots of things. It could be that angry co-worker, the huge number of things on your To-Do list, or even too many Zoom meetings. And even if we don’t experience these things all in one day, they still add up. After we experience enough of these small stressful events, we may even start to feel overwhelmed all the time. A lot of small things can start to feel like big things.
According to neuroscientists, the reason this happens may all come down to cognitive control. Cognitive control refers to using our mind to steer our behaviors and experiences towards better outcomes by overriding habits and other automatic tendencies. For example, we can use cognitive control to rein in our typical reactions (e.g., frustration when given too much work), to override habits or automatic behaviors (e.g., reaching for chocolate when tired) and to quiet troublesome thoughts and feelings (e.g., worry about performing well).
It turns out that we have a limited amount of cognitive resources. And if the cognitive demands of our day exceed our resources, we may feel tired, stressed, and even overwhelmed. Constantly using our minds to move through the world successfully can truly be exhausting. And the more complex the cognitive tasks we have to do—the more cognitive control we have to exert—the more worn out we become. So how exactly does an average day or week turn into overwhelm?
Common examples of using cognitive control during the day might include stopping ourselves from eating that second piece of cake, willing ourselves to go to the gym, or holding ourselves back from telling our boss off and quitting on the spot. Indeed, we wear ourselves out when we have to mentally force ourselves to do things that are hard. It’s part of the reason why we stop going to the gym and cheat on our diets. And it’s part of the reason we develop bad habits—like drinking coffee and eating sweets—that help us get through the day.
But cognitive control isn’t just helpful for dieting—it’s helpful for just about everything. There are tons of other times throughout the day that we use cognitive control and we don’t even realize it. All these little efforts add up and if they exceed our mental resources—ouch. Here is an example of how a regular day can lead to overwhelm:
1. Getting into the groove of work
The day has started and you’ve got lots to do, but for some reason, you’re having a hard time getting started or picking up momentum. You need to get your thoughts together or else you might end up squandering the whole day. So you mentally force yourself forward. You probably feel a bit of resistance at first, but eventually, you feel more in-sync with yourself and can finally move forward with your work.
2. Shifting gears
You’ve finished working on one project and need to switch to working on something completely different. Your mind is still running over what you’ve been working on, making it difficult to fully do the next task. That’s what makes task-shifting—also called set-shifting—such a mentally demanding activity. It’s like driving along at 100 miles per hour, screeching to a halt, and turning in a completely new direction. That is, it’s hard to stop, turn, and pick up speed again. And just like that, you’ve just used up some more of your cognitive resources.
3. Overcoming “Zoom fatigue”
A virtual meeting finally comes to an end and you realize you’ve been staring at a computer screen for two hours. There is a good word for that—fried. You feel mentally exhausted, burned out, and maybe even a little anxious. But the workday is not over, so you eat a cookie—even though you’re not hungry—and you command your brain to keep on working.
4. Nudging a mental block
All day, you’ve been thinking on and off about a difficult conversation you had with your partner last night. You think, “She was way out of line. But I also messed up. Ach! What do I do?!” You know you’re just going in circles, but you just can’t stop thinking about it. You feel yourself fading and you know that the mental energy you’re spending thinking about this is hurting your productivity.
5. Beating an afternoon slump
It’s 3 pm and all your body wants to do is take a nap. But a nap is not an option, and you must push on. You’d rather not drink another cup of coffee—caffeine in the afternoon just makes it harder to sleep later. But you are in desperate need of a little energy boost. At this point, you’re so low on mental resources that you’re feeling pretty overwhelmed and you resort to relying on sugar and caffeine to keep you from keeling over.
6. Unwinding at the end of the day
The day is over, and boy, what a day it was. After you stop work, you keep ruminating about that last meeting or that horrible email you received just before you left work. Your mind feels like it’s been hijacked and all you want to do is rest. Your mind is still working even though you’re not even at work anymore.
7. Interrupting lingering worries
Your workday is over and you find that your mind turns to non-work-related worries. Your family reminds you about all the things on your to-do list. The news tells you about all the horrible things that happened in the day. And you suddenly shift focus to all those issues with your finances, health, and relatives. As these worries run through the back of your mind, they slowly drain away mental resources like a dripping faucet. You’re running dangerously low—no one in the family better come near you because you just might snap at them.
8. Turning off mental static
Finally, you made it to the end of the day. Your head is on the pillow but your mind is still wide awake. It’s replaying the day, trying to solve problems, and making plans for tomorrow. You really just need to get to sleep already. But you’ve drained your cognitive control and your body is left in a frazzled state of stress and overwhelm. The mental static in your mind uses up the mental resources you had left and you fall into a restless sleep.
Undoing overwhelm
This may sound like a pretty normal day for many of us. Or for some of us, we may have these experiences over a week or two. But they still add up. By improving our cognitive control, we can give ourselves more resources that make each of these experiences less draining. As a result, the day ends and we feel okay. Our body hasn’t turned on the stress response, our evening is relaxing enough to recharge us, and we’re calm enough to sleep. We’ve not only managed to reduce overwhelm today, but we’ve decreased the chance of it tomorrow.
Luckily, there are lots of things you can do to break this pattern. For example, you might try mindfulness to help stay centered and more present in the moment. You might work on taking more control of your mind—so that the day’s small stressors don’t linger as much. Or, you might try our app – Attenteo – to stave off stress, improve focus, or wind down.
